The purpose of this guide is to help you avoid all the pitfalls of the common dating pitfalls and to teach you how to approach the dating scene with confidence. We’ve put together easy-to-follow tips and advice that will help you get the most out of your personal interactions. Whether you’re looking for a fun date with the girl across the bar or for a relationship, this guide is for you.
Know What to Expect
When you first start talking to someone about dating, you want to be sure that you both want the same thing. That way, you’re going into the conversation with the right expectations. What is the expectation for the date? Are you on a first date, a second date, or both? There’s no right or wrong answer. It’s a question of what you want out of the date, which should be pretty obvious. If you’re going on a first date, expect to meet at the bar or restaurant, hold a friendly conversation, and go from there. The point is to have a pleasant evening together. If you’ve had a second date before, maybe you want a weekend getaway, or maybe you want to see each other again. If you’re both serious about finding a relationship, then you want to ensure that both of you are ready for a future together. Either way, it’s important to have the expectations clear and know your boundaries.
Know Your Purpose
The next step is to figure out your purpose for meeting someone. A guide to dating with confidence assumes that you have decided to commit to a relationship or date. It’s not the time to just “see how it goes.” Your purpose for meeting someone should be exactly that: to see how it goes. Yes, you want to have a good time, but you also want to be able to make an informed decision on whether or not you want to see each other again. If you aren’t sure yet, I suggest trying a few online dating websites, as they can be a lot of fun. You may find that you discover the woman of your dreams, or at the very least, a couple of awesome women! If you’re looking for a casual fling or group date, you can start by asking your friends for their recommendations. You’ll definitely find someone to go out with, but no guarantee that they’ll be the right fit for you or vice versa. That’s what makes this section of the guide so important.
How To Build a Strong First Impression
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Warning: There are a million kinds of dating, and you don’t have to read this long if you don’t want to. And I’m not really saying I have all the answers—just my wisdom as a gay 30-something who’s been happily dating for several years. I’ll admit, I often feel awkward talking about myself, so I’ve also thrown in a number of tips for you to read and practice as you date. I’m a huge believer in taking things slow, so avoid any dates that are too casual, too short, or for a first date only.
On the other hand, a lot of what I write here is about how to take care of your relationship with yourself and be yourself, whether it’s your first date or the fourth.
I have a hard time saying this, but if you have a few years of trial and error under your belt and you’re picking up these dating tips, I’d say you probably don’t need them.
You are who you are, and your date is who he or she is, and your best selves will always mesh. There’s a reason why we tend to take the people we date most seriously. Maybe you’re completely different, but I can’t imagine not thinking of you as a separate person. That being said, you don’t have to be your best self if you don’t feel like it. Making mistakes is part of being human, but it doesn’t mean you have to be perfect to find the right person.
My rules below are just a place to start. The best advice I can give you is to wait for the right person. But even if you find that person, and even if that person is someone you can’t stop thinking about, follow these rules, and everything else will fall into place. (Bonus: they’ll make you better look on those dating apps that don’t require you to post your own profile picture. Trust me!)
1. Get to Know Them
I know, I know. This sounds ridiculously simple, and to be honest, it is. After all, isn’t that what you want to happen? Really though, it’s not a bad thing to get to know your date, to see if he or she fits. It allows you to relax and enjoy the date—it’s not a task you need to complete, it’s a relaxing, easy activity. You can learn about your date’s views on politics, you can discover if he or she is a total sports fan
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