Sex is the way you express your feelings for someone. Be honest. If you’re ready to move forward with casual sex, then you’re deciding that what you have isn’t quite enough. If you’re not really ready to move forward with casual sex, you may not be ready for the relationship that casual sex might lead to. If your heart is really not in the scene of casual sex — or if you don’t have a partner — you should consider your other options.
The Science of Hookups
How do hookups help us emotionally? First off, with casual sex, you don’t have to put in effort to experience a full emotional connection with someone. You can skip the foreplay and jump right to foreplay. Secondly, because you don’t have to build up that connection with someone, you don’t have to worry about how much time and energy you invest, creating a new or a different dynamic between yourself and your partner. Hookups are like a buffet: If you’re not in the mood for this shrimp, you don’t have to eat them. Just move on to the next one, and eat what you want. And, lastly, casual sex is overrated. Everyone likes sex, and everyone is a little bit in the mood for it once in a while. But there are many other things in life that can be life-changing, that can really connect you with someone, that are more significant and powerful than a meaningless hookup.
A former casual fling asks whether you’re the right person for the long haul. After casual sex, people are usually left asking, “What am I missing?” It’s not necessarily that the sex isn’t as good as with a long-term partner, or that you can’t achieve an emotional connection with your partner, or that you can’t have a career and your sexual freedom — it’s just that, in these scenarios, your intimacy can be untethered from your emotions.
This is not to say that you necessarily aren’t compatible with the person with whom you’ve just had sex. It’s just to say that having sex with someone has its practical applications. You’re free to experiment, and often, that is the best way to learn about a person’s attitudes and ways of being. But if you’re truly looking to fall in love and settle down, most of the time, you have to work at that.
I’m calling that because casual sex is the first step in that direction. After a hookup or a one-night stand,
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